CTF-Comcast
Map Info
	File Name ctf-comcast.zip Author Gundato Gametype UT Capture the Flag Date Added 10-29-2003 File Version 1.00 File Size 162 kb Player Count 16 Map Description Avoid this like the plague. Especially if you are susceptible to siezures. Review Rating 0 User Rating 2.5 Overall Rating 1.0
Review
Reviewer Mister_Prophet Awe Score:  0.0/3 Date 10-30-2003 Build Score:  0.0/3 Review Schema Cast Score:  0.0/3 User Point:  +1 Overall Score:  1.0/10 Few times in my life can I recall vomiting while at the same time crapping my pants as my body slips into epileptic shock to the sound of random bot gibbing and lines like “Die *****â€� as I slip into the dark void of my sub-conscious as disco hell takes me and rapes my cerebral cortex with its venomous touch, infecting my blood with sulfuric acid that eats away the soft material that makes up my organic matter and turns me into a goop monster, which of course is meaningless at this point since by then, my brain has melted into toxic waste and my mind has made the final ascension into the great here after. CTF-Comcast is hands down, the worst map I have ever come across. Ever. Forget CTF-AndAction, forget DM-1on1-Turbine, forget every lowly piece of junk map I have ever given a low score to, numerical code does not contain the capacity accurately rate this map based on individual digits. This map is like a really really really bad acid trip and may even kill a few of you if you dare to play it. You spawn in a box with redeemers and rocket launchers floating everywhere and the flag on the ceiling, the rest of the map is blinded by Technicolor Limbo that would even make George Romero Puke. This is Plan 9 From Outer Space for CTF mappage. Seriously, what the hell was the author thinking? I couldn’t make a map like this even if I tried! Unlike DOM-Brintey which had some comedy to its mayhem, this map is just pure plague. There is no excuse for this map to exist, the second you spawn you will find yourself overcome by the immediate flashing green that sucks your retinas to the screen and sends you into a seizure-induced mind meltdown as you flop around your room foaming at the mouth as rainbow sherbert leaks out of your anus and eyes, the horror of your external appearance nothing compared to the internal abomination that is happening, and as the last bit of sentience slips away and vanishes into the purple haze of the Crab Nebula, you will cry in terror at what is happening to you, never in a million lifetimes did you ever think mapping could ever reach such a low, never before have you been so misguided and led astray by the tyrannical nature of the n00b mapper, your trust in God and Earth and the Universe will tumble down like a stack of bricks and your entire world will come crashing inward around you as your physical form turns into an amoebae like substance and leaks into your carpet as your soul gets impregnated by the masters of the 8th dimension, as they hold your tattered remains as a testimony to all as why you should never ever let friends map when they are intoxicated by acid spores from the spice mines of Kessel. The Prophet’s Verdict: I feel raped somehow… No review screenshot available
Map Comments
Frieza 10-29-2003 01:25 PM MST Rating: 2   oooo.. Gundy got his map on NC :) Gundato 10-29-2003 04:22 PM MST   Heh. This is one of the worst things I have ever seen. I give it a 0 (And I made it :D) Koveras 10-30-2003 05:50 PM MST Rating: 10   a true masterpiece _Unreal_ 10-30-2003 08:53 PM MST Rating: 0   there are many better maps worth to review! no comment avatar 10-31-2003 12:14 AM MST Rating: 0   ugh not even worth reviewing, move on and review some other maps.. zenpunk 10-31-2003 12:16 AM MST Rating: 5   yeah, seriously ... I mean, if you feel that way about a map why spend the time reviewing it ... with so many better maps waiting in the review queue. Or, I guess I should call it the review *stack*, as it seems it's last in first out. Sheesh. Mister_Prophet 10-31-2003 12:43 AM MST Rating: 0   with so many better maps waiting in the review queue LLLLLOOOOOOLLLLLLL Seriously, 90% of the maps in my stack consist of gimmick maps or map "remakes". This one was a special request. TheSpoonDog 10-31-2003 02:41 AM MST Rating: 0   No, keep reviewing these maps - they're not really reviews, they're comedy. I've liked these gimmick reviews ever since I read something about "beating your dog to death with a banana"... or something like that :D Torn_Agressor 10-31-2003 06:25 AM MST Rating: 1   mister prophets reviws own :D i think he played so many of these maps..its warped hes brain, permanently poor mister prophet, however..hes reviews crack me up...i wonder if a book of mister prophets reviws would become a best seller..i would think so btw. im scared to download this map..so..im gonna avoid like the plague Obi-Wan 10-31-2003 07:12 AM MST Rating: 0   screenies plz!!! best review ever! lol Shao 10-31-2003 07:29 AM MST Rating: 0   halailuyahh!! you know what i mean. SandRock 10-31-2003 08:55 AM MST Rating: 5   O_o and requested mister_prophet to make a review for my map.... /me shiffers Juno 10-31-2003 10:02 AM MST Rating: 0   Somebody has outdone himself... darth_weasel 10-31-2003 02:53 PM MST Rating: 10   l33ter than Scimitar!1 Waffnuffly 10-31-2003 04:05 PM MST Rating: 10   BRILLIANT! STUPENDOUS! A FEAT OF ARCHITECTURAL EXTRAVAGANCE AND EXCELLENCE! A MASTERPIECE! SUPER-SATURATED WITH AWE-INSPIRING VISUALS AND GRIPPING GAMEPLAY THAT WILL SURELY KEEP YOU HOOKED FOR HOURS ON END! I love this map. Hellscrag2002 10-31-2003 06:14 PM MST Rating: 10   A fan-bl00dy-tastic showing from El Gundato! We need more maps like this. ]BMR[VorLoN 10-31-2003 08:24 PM MST Rating: 0   piece of **** <[DecoY]> 11-16-2003 10:05 AM MST Rating: 0   I just had to see what it was like... AND I CAN4T BELIEVE I WASTD BANDWIDTH ON THAT!!! JESUS -ING CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!! I never thought I would say this, but... Praise be to the creator of CTF-ANDaction!! darkjaxx: You forgot WTF-ANDaction Liquid Payment 11-04-2003 07:04 PM MST Rating: 0   Why the hell do you people even bother with a comment is it because you feel some deep desire to post worthless crap. This map sums up Comcast. horned demon 11-05-2003 02:34 PM MST Rating: 1   he hated comcast so bad he made a map about them(explained in his web page)but i must say this map has the same hateful attitude as the comcast customer surport Hitoshi 11-06-2003 07:04 PM MST Rating: 1   that was the funniest review i have EVER read XD ha Great map. You might want to consider learning a bit more before you start posting ur maps. Oh I've seen worse.. The other day I was on this server and there was a map called the_pit. All it is.. is 2 cubes taken out of the floor of a rectangular room these holes in the ground contain the flag. Not only would it take 5 minutes to make, you cant even get out of the holes in the floor because it is too high lol. STUPID. Maps like this should be burnt!! BURNT!! mwahahahahahahaha!!! Anyway, point made ^_^ PS : OH and I'll give u a point for trying. I mean.. omg. These people are so unfair only giving u 0. At least it has PlayerStart Actors!! M@estro 11-08-2003 02:13 PM MST Rating: 1   One and all for the labour Amisa 11-10-2003 02:53 AM MST Rating: 0   In conclusion Dark Pulse 11-10-2003 06:18 PM MST Rating: 0   The only reason his map existsi s to test how bad of a map can be made. On that scale, this is a perfect 10; you'd be hard pressed to find a worse map. Taydawg 12-13-2003 08:33 PM MST Rating: 0   Rating - 0.0 (wish i could go less)... You spawn. You look up and see your flag on the ceiling and scream "What the F***?". You quickly grab one of the many redeemers floating around you, and fire it down the hall way to the other base. You scream again "What the F***" as it gets stuck in midair. You attemp a run down the hallway. It is so damn hard. You manage to somehow make it to the other base, and say "Where the F*** is the flag?". You remember you saw it on the celing and look up. You see it. You reach for your translocator. You then remember you have it set to not use a translocator. You shout out "Damnit!" and hear a clicking sound behind you. You see Kira with a redeemer facing to you and you crap your pants. You wonder if there is a god... Kira fires. Before you are sent to the great beyond, you remember you had a family... BOOM! David is dead. The horrible dream he was in was a reality. You sit in your chair wondering what to do next and then you respawn only to be blinded by flashing lights. YOU THE PERSON IN THE CHAIR fall to the ground and have seizures... This map is by far the crappiest thing i have ever seen. I totally agree with mister prophet. How dare the mapper put ANY REVIEWER through such torture. Condemn the bastard that clicked the REQUEST REVIEW button to eternal life playing this hell. I have never in my seemingly meaningless gaming time had to take half a bottle of aspirin to dull the torture you go through when you play this map. I WARN ALL OF THE PLAYERS OF THIS MAP : AVOID IT LIKE THE ANTICHRIST! Surgeon Generals warning: Playing this map for prolonged periods of time can cause one or all of the following: Seizures Nosebleeds Headache Blindness A mad craving for limbo Vomiting Stomach aches A feel for Kariokie Excessive sweatiness Uncontrollable shaking A desire for brussel sprouts and DEATH ------------------ Be safe with this product and enjoy! [edit] Heh heh if you want to see something funny head on over to the BW mappack by Aahz. ive got a funny review on that map. :) [edit] Gundato (? is that your name), bluntly put your map makes eating dog $H1T dipped in mercury sprinkled with crack cocaine rolled in a brussel sprout leaf mixture dropped behind the refridigrerator (:P) left there for several months picked up sniffed thrown peed on eaten vomited then bled on by the unfortunate sucker (whew!), look great. ------------ edit: I could make a much more harsh comment: bluntly put - this map is sh1t. darkjaxx 11-14-2003 09:18 AM MST Rating: 0   This map should be a new genre The Wtf-maps so good for as Wtf-Appartements Wtf-FrogtownStump Wtf-Deathdungeon and last but not least Wtf-Comcast Yeah! We got a new playgenre,yipee! kingmango 11-16-2003 08:11 PM MST Rating: 10   Interestingly enough, Gundato is actually an anagram of the ancient Anasazi word togadnu, which means practical joker, mischief maker... I can only assume he meant a prank, as the maps name is comcast... More interesting to note the Anasazi also had a word, Dungato, meaning "poopkitty"... :D jk Gundy... can't help myself give it a ten for it's success in fooling everyone CTMBB 11-18-2003 02:48 AM MST Rating: 0   I had to play this for myself, after laughing my balls off through the comments left I just had to try it. All, I can say is, I am lucky I made it back to sanity alive. I started to panick and almost went into hyperventilation, seriously, making it to the other side of the tunnel was a choppy lagged out mission in itself let alone trying to keep your dinner down through it all. I was actually genuinely freaked out when I got lost in a one way tunnel, turned around and watched as a redeemer seemingly fired from some evil spirit within the map itself bored down on me, not only did I not know where to run but had no idea who fired it? I quickly hit my F1 key just to make sure I was the only player in the game, and I was??? I slowly creeped up to the orphan redemmer hoping to find some answers in this new world of complete and utter chaos. I so badly wanted to hit my ESC key and leave the nightmare behind, but I couldnt seem to move, I was like a deer paralyzed by the oncoming headlights of a tractor trailer. I knew that if I was going to unfreeze my self I had to get answers! I could hear the redeemer I could see it, but I feared getting close to it. Turns out the map was so fukin laggy the redeemer wouldnt even propel itself. I realized that it was a redeemer that I had shot 7 minutes earlier in the game. Pheew! I seriously thought I was having some kind of poltergiest. I began to wonder if somehow this Pile of Shit map was goin to kill my 9700 pro. I immediatley shut it down with that thought still lingering. When I made it back to the "other side", tattered and torn, eyes dryed out like california rasins, still coping with the residual beginings of a grand maul seizure. I looked over my shoulder, the hair stood up on the back of my neck and then I took a deep breath, "Thank The Good Lord Its Over"....PHEEW, thank God its over....... KRYZPO 11-18-2003 06:06 PM MST Rating: 0   KOVERAS , YOU R CRAZY MAN!! THIS MAP SUUUUCKKKKKSSS HARDD!!!!THIS CRAP MUST BE DELETED FROM THIS SITE!QUICKLY!!!!!I COULDN'T SEE NOTHING WHEN YOU MOVE TO THE RIGHT SOME TIPE OF GRAVITY THROWS YOU TO THE LEFT!THE HOLEE IS SO SMAALL THAT EVERY TIME I TRIED TO KILL SOMEONE I HITED MY TEAMMATES!!AND YOU START WITH THE WRONG FLAG IN THE ROOM WERE YO SPAWN YOU JUST HAVE TO JUMP TO GET IT!!!!(CTF-BIGBRIDGE IS BETTER THAN THIS!!!AND I MEAN IT'S A COOOL MAP A SNIPER FEST I AM A HEAD SHOT LOVER). FOR THE AUTHOR:please stop making crapy maps don't torture innocent players that just wanna play some at least OK maps but this it ain't OK this ... something that isn't map just something CRAPY!!! javoseven 05-20-2004 07:57 AM MDT Rating: 10   This is an instant classic. Wow, i was blown off my feet by this amazing display of skilled map making. Download it now so u can experience its full glory! CyMek 11-03-2005 09:47 PM MST   I capped the flag on this map, and you should too. Kantham 11-04-2005 11:25 AM MST   Yet another one that made himself a good reputation. DM-headache is in the same line, be ready to be hired by epics! SabbathCat 04-17-2006 07:19 PM MDT   I like the way it speeds up and slows down along the pipe - the tension! Awesome. And if you've not been gunned down in the staggeringlly slow final 6 feet, and you have over 50 health - you can cap too! As art 7/10. As a map -7/10 Derdak2rot 04-17-2006 10:59 PM MDT   Z0MG , never seen such sarcastic comments before :O hilarious ;D Rakiayn 04-18-2006 08:13 AM MDT Rating: 0   I wish i never played this, its even worse then i expected and this map is the worst map i ever saw id rather play dm-headake plus this map has the most lag ever