DOM-Britney
Map Info
	File Name dom-britney.zip Author BangOut Gametype UT Domination Date Added 06-03-2003 File Version 1.00 File Size 1.32 mb Player Count 16-69 Map Description my map owns you lllloollololol! http://www.planetunreal.com/MappeD/maps/DOM-Britney.htm Review Rating 0 User Rating 6 Overall Rating 1.0
Review
Reviewer Mister_Prophet Awe Score:  0.0/3 Date 06-03-2003 Build Score:  0.0/3 Review Schema Cast Score:  0.0/3 User Point:  +1 Overall Score:  1.0/10 There comes a time in every map reviewer’s career when that certain map comes along and hits you so hard in the nuts with flat-out, random humor … that you find yourself in the cozy epicenter of a complete and utter mind crash, and you giggle so hard you puke all over your sister. Forget about the uber-l33t maps made by those elitist mappers that a lot of you in the community all say suck, yet secretly envy. Forget about the latest “Ownageâ€� map that pops up every now and then to remind you just how far into the dark-side of “easy pleasure’ Cliffy has fallen into. Forget about that plan you had to masturbate in your neighbor’s lawn while smiling at his kids. Forget about American Idol and the John Edwards show. Nothing in the world can compare to or prepare you for DOM-Britney. Well, except maybe DM-Britney. Unfortunately, nobody can be told what DOM-Britney is…you have to see it for yourself. The pic I present to you, as well as the numerous pics you have already seen, in no way do this map the justice it righteously deserves. Maps like these only come around a few times every century, or maybe twice in 2 years depending if Bangout feels like opening the Unreal editor. You will notice I have given the map a score of 0. That does not mean the map sucks, nor does it mean I did not like it. All it means is…my nuts were rocked so badly and so violently, that I found my self sitting in my chair, dripping blood from my torn open ball sack, and finding impossible to accurately score this map using any schema known to man, woman, or elf. Then I cried a little. Then I thought I saw God, but it was just the pizza man pulling into my driveway. Funny story, because his name was Jesus, but in Spanish they say it as “Hey-Zeusâ€�. I didn’t care, I called him Jesus anyway and he got so mad he almost didn’t give me my pizza, but I talked him out of it and then we went to church and stole holy water… The Prophet’s Verdict: Do not play this map if you are pregnant, for the shock of the images presented to you may force your undeveloped fetus to erupt from the soft embryo pouch and scream “This map is so totally clutch!â€�. Do not play this map if you are one of those people who watch Japanese cartoons and go into seizures, because this map will cause your skeleton to jump out of your mouth and do the Tango with your mother, as she screams in horror and pukes all over your kitchen. Do not play this map if you still think Quake 3 is better than UT, this is yet another reason why UT rocks your punk world. Do not play this map if you are on acid, you may be driven to homicidal tendencies and kill your dog with a banana. Otherwise, go right ahead, and join me on the true path to achieving Nirvana. Note: Ill have real review tommorow, i just couldnt pass this one up.
Map Comments
BangOut 06-03-2003 09:00 PM MDT   http://www.planetunreal.com/MappeD/maps/DOM-Britney.htm One Armed Scissor 06-03-2003 07:52 PM MDT Rating: 10   w t f... Rinner 06-03-2003 08:05 PM MDT Rating: 10   My Review of DOM-Britney What can I say? This map arrived on my desk in a fedex package over the weekend and I have spent literally the last 72 hours playing non-stop... only now do I have time to take a break to bring you this EXCLUSIVE review, please wait while I clean my thighs. From the very moment you start it is obvious this map defines the word 'OMGWTFTEHROXOR', from the amazing attention to texture detail to the large, sweeping outdoor areas complete with trees, rocks, grass, and air. The map is set on the surface of a giant asteroid that has been purchased by Bill Gates as a potential location for his new summer home. Your mission is to run across levitating platforms made of plasma sausages while dodging acorns that are falling from a giant tree growing out of the center of the mountain. Inside the mountain is a secret Nazi base that is being used to make weapons of mass destruction, and this is by far the most breathtaking of all the environments in this movie. By the time you finish reading the final chapter you will be so absolutely stunned with the sheer 'SWEETNESS' of this production, fourtunately the index is organized ala. Encyclopedia which means greater tax burdens for the rich! All in all I would highly recommend this to anyone looking for a cruel and unusual encounter with a wild platypus. NiNo 06-03-2003 08:06 PM MDT Rating: 10   This is it! The perfect map I've been yearning for my entire UT lifetime. Rarely does an author capture the essence of a FPS. This map has it all, a perfect balance between eyecandy and gameplay. The only thing I questioned was the map name ... at first. After meditating to a few candles, I see clearly why the name is perfect for this map. Don't waste another minute playing sloppily designed maps. This map has it all. The Twiggman 06-03-2003 09:00 PM MDT Rating: 10   Lol, nuff said. Like seriously your never gonna get that kind of brittany action anywhere else. Well maybe mtv but still. [morpheus] 06-04-2003 09:37 AM MDT Rating: 4   Altrough this map looks totally n00b it is obvious that it's not(what a stupid sentence). It has plenty of secrets and it makes you laugh. Anyway, it is not a conventional map and as such it cannot be played normally. But! a)there are some serious collision errors b)all you do is make craters c)there are only, let's say, 4 player starts d) the music doesn't fit the map at all e) connectivity is very bad A comment: while there are tons of maps waiting to be reviewed, all the allmighty reviewers do is spit on maps such as this one. Disgusting. J. Kyle 06-04-2003 09:48 AM MDT Rating: 0   OMG IS THAT SCREENSHOT FOR REAL?! I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO L33T A LEVEL OMG LOL ROFLMAOBOBDOLE!!!1 lol, I may have to download this one just to see how crazy it really is. The_Real_Meneer_Aard 06-04-2003 11:16 AM MDT Rating: 0   yuck. this map reminds me of dm-FrogTownStump and dm-DeathDungeon. Both icons of 1337ness, found under least popular maps. Lots of geometry pointlessly thrown in som ugly textured spaces. the controlpoints are parsecs divided from eachother and it would be much less annoying if you wouldnt constantly fall o death. after a while the whole level is littered with bloodstains and the recognisable 'Splurg" and "Splat" sounds. the skybox is an orb with all kinds of crap circling around in it, like an oil barrel as big as a office building. Need i say more? no. authors like this should be forbiden to use the editor anymore. Maybe its only my sense of humor, but one would be severely *@^%@#*^# to like this crap. Nilash 06-04-2003 05:43 PM MDT Rating: 0   HHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This map cannot be commented on.